There is a question I’ve had rolling around in my mind for quite some time now.
Fundamentally, it’s this:
Is it really possible to change your life?
The question comes up a lot for me given the nature of my own experience . . . and the experiences of people that I interact with regularly in my work as a lawyer—the commonality being experiences of trauma.
Trauma.
Life events that forever rock the core of who a person is . . . Violence. War. Death. Abuse.
One of the realities that has become apparent to me is that time heals many things—but time alone does not heal trauma. And even more significantly, trauma permeates every aspect of a survivor’s life. Whether recognized or not, a person’s life becomes submerged in it. Bathed in it. Takes on its tinge. Like falling dominos spread out in every direction, every decision, every aspect traces back to it.
And that’s not fair.
There is a principle we learn about in the law that addresses how a person should be compensated—what damages he is entitled to—for a “tort” . . . something wrong that was done to them. Simply put, the goal is to return the victim to the position he would have been in, had the wrong never occurred. Take what the victim wrongfully lost—and convert it to cash.
So, if he was out of work for a year because of the tort, he gets that money back. If she wracked up hospital bills, total it up and cut her a check. If he experienced pain and suffering, convert it to currency and put it in the judgment.
In other words—if you did me wrong, I get a do-over.
But obviously, countless survivors never come close to receiving compensation for harm done to them. And, clearly, even if they did—money is only money; it is not life.
So—my question. Is there a way to scrap the life you were wrongfully handed—a trauma-derived life—and mold a life that reflects your true self? A life dictated not by choices—but, rather, events that were thrust upon a person, so to speak—and, instead, one that is a product of her own will and desires?
Is there a way to reclaim what was taken?
Is it really possible to change your life?
Well, let’s find out, shall we…
Flight 